A dear friend of mine recently e-mailed me an essay he wrote about fate (very well written btw) and it got me ta thankin. This subject is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. I spend a lot of time thinking about these kinds of things, fate, religion, spirituality, philosophy, values, morals, ethics, the suns, the moons, the gods and the earths, to be or not be type shit. You know, always trying to "find yourself". You put all these things together, sort of cut n paste your likes and dislikes and you try to figure something out that you think defines you. THIS IS ME! How many of us can REALLY say that? I'm almost always unsure about myself. The only thing I'm sure of is I love writing and women, THAT'S IT!
This problem begins at birth. You're being taught all these things by your parents before you even know how to talk or walk. You're observing religion or lack there of since birth. If your parents are religious, you're automatically now part of that religion. You get baptised or they circumcise the poor jewish kids or they sacrifice a goat for you or whatever they might be into. As you grow you're learning from your parents' words and actions which then kind of force their values and morals and ethics upon you. You go to school and the teacher teaches you to share and shit. You see? Like if no one ever told you the name of the colour "blue" would you still call "blue", "blue"? Probably not (well, I would because it only makes sense ;D). You would make up your own word for the colour "x". Ya, now you see.
But then a quarter of your life goes by and you start to think "wait a minute, this part doesn't make sense to me". This is where the problem gets tough. Now you're stuck with all these ideas and ideals and knowledge and myth and if's, but's and maybe's. So you're trying to sort through an eternal cipher of questions with very few, if any answers. In fact, you start to come across more questions WHILE questioning and never even getting a single answer. But we end up with some "maybe's".
Now you're halfway through life and you're only more confused. So you wish you just followed some faith or rule or ideal blindly because it's a hell of a lot easier. A lot of us do this already but some of us choose not to. Or now some of your "maybe's" have turned into "probably's" and those eventually turn into "certainly's" but these "certainties" are still "maybes" in the real world outside your own head. For instance, no one can really say there's no God just like no one can say there is. I'm not sure of the accuracy of this statistic but for life on earth to have started there was a 30 trillion (the trillions is where im not sure of the accuracy of this stat, i tried looking it up but couldn't word it right and i was losing my train so if u know, do tell) to one shot for all the things to come together to create a single celled organism. So ya, maybe GOD made that happen OR it was just CHANCE! And who knows if God's the good guy anyway? What if God's actually the bad guy, i mean there's just as many bad things and people as good in this world right? Or maybe he's neutral like sweden and he's just trying to say, "hey, leave me out of this, man. You caused your problems, you figure 'em out." Or what if God's just some punk kid and we're his toys that he didn't want to clean up and we're just stuck here until his mom tells him to. Armeggedon anyone?
I'm personally leaning towards no God, nothingness, randomness, it just is but that's me.... now. None of us will know until we're dead. I'll be on my death bed either seeing the white light or thinking "FUCK! i wasted my life thinking about shit that doesn't matter."
..........flatline............
LOVE, PEACE AND UNDERSTANDING! That's all that matters. The rest is brain excercise.
(originally posted on facebook on oct 29, 09)
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