Merry Christmas!

I understand the irony of this title considering my last post but it seems christmas has nothing to do with religion anymore. before i go on a boring rant about the commercialization of christmas, which has been done to death and no one seems to care anyway. that's not what i'm here for today. for the first time for as far back as i can remember, i'm somewhat enjoying the holiday season.... so far. well, it's not that i never enjoy the holidays, i just never enjoyed it as much as the rest seem to. aside from the parties, the winter has almost always had nothing but heart break, depression and loneliness for me. it's like no matter how great of a year i might be having, it all seems to start crumbling towards the end. and the next year usually starts that way as well. i'm simply refusing to let that happen this year. simply by not letting anything get me down. it works, trust me.

Now i'm not that person that we all know that hates christmas out of spite. we all have at least one scrooge in our life that refuses to enjoy the holidays just because happy people annoy them. that's fine if you're that person, to each their own. i'm merely pointing out that i'm not that guy. i have reasons. one year i found out i had cancer. one year i was completely broke working minimum wage as a security guard sitting in my car in front of a liquor store, every night, all night, with no heat in my car and barely any money to fix that problem. one year i was told my grandfather (who i mention in "my reasons") was ill beyond repair and of course by february he was no longer with us. you get the idea. it just seems as if bad news always waits for the winter to come a' knockin'.

This year, however, i'm hell bent on enjoying the winter. i've actually gotten some bad news already but it was more like disappointing news rather than bad and pales in comparison to anything in the past and can hardly be considered a reason to think of jumping. i'm kind of scared the bad news might just be coming around the mountains in search of my chimney so i'm nailing mine shut with a piece of plywood. blocking santa is just a risk i'll have to take to enjoy christmas. it feels good to go from "bah humbug!" to "ho, ho, ho!!!!". i hope this turns into an annual affair.

stay tuned for the month of january for a series reflecting on changes.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!