You know how you feel like you deserve the best because you're a great person? deep, deep down inside you feel like you're good, so why not the best for you? you ask, why shouldn't i deserve the best? why should i not possess what i wish? not something outlandish, not something unreasonable, but something that is truly within your reach, something you should have because you are who you are, something you should have because it makes absolute sense. YOU FUCKIN DESERVE IT!!!
so why is this not yours? why is this not mine? why not?
it's not a car, it's not a mansion, it's not a career as a professional athlete, this is something that can be yours but isn't for some unforeseen reason, something mystical, only the stars know why.
so why is that not mine? why is that not yours? what's holding you and me back from that becoming ours? WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE...
how much? what if i feel like i've sacrificed all i can? this thing still isn't mine.
what if i was someone else? this thing would so easily be mine... so i imagine... why should i need to imagine myself as someone else? just to have it? i just want it.
i have friends much greater than i, AND THEY DON'T EVEN FEEL THEY DESERVE IT!
if i feel like i deserve it, then they most certainly do!
i wish is wasn't always it.
They say be careful what you wish for.
ReplyDeleteNothing is so simple that having "it" is how it looks to others. No matter what someone else has, even love, only shows itself on the surface. Underneath it still is fraught with doubts, longings, fears.
It? Love? Recognition? Joy? All non-tangibles.
Something is missing or something is just being missed.