The Barber Shop

Us men, we have one person to brag about and endorse to others, our barber. women have their nail girls, their hair girls, their wax girls, their massage girls, their girly girly girls. we have barbers. our barber's are the best barbers in the world, ask any man that visits one. he wouldn't go to him, if he didn't think his barber was the best.

I remember going to the barber's with my dad when i was but a wee lad. this place in east van complete with that bottle thing that spins with blue, red and white stripes. i wonder what those are called, they fascinate me to this day. you don't see them too often anymore though.

I must've gone through a multitude of nameless barbers until i found Art on scott rd. art was old school. i would be shocked to find out he was still alive. he never used clippers, only scissors. that's an art in itself. the first time i went there was when my mom had to do some shopping and dropped me off for a cut while she shopped. thank god she left because art's coffee table was littered with PORN! and i'm not talking about playboy, i mean HARDCORE PORN! needless to say from then on i rode my bike for a half hour to get my fade and fix. i would hope for a wait on the way and once i got there, i would be totally nonchalant, give it a minute or two, act like i was so bored that i might as well take a look and pick up where i left off as discreet as can be. as discreet as a 12 year old boy ogling hardcore porn in a barber shop can be. there's a special relationship that takes place between every young boy and his first brush with porn. maybe not so much anymore, what with the internet and all. there's no excitement of the hunt and the eventual jackpot anymore. the kids these days don't know what they're missing, it's too easy for them, the thrill is gone. i digress, porn's a powerful agent of digression. art retired.

Now i was ready for the real thing, the lovely ladies of great clips. i learned women talk too much even when cutting hair. asking dumb questions, trying to sell me $20 bottles of shampoo and shit. peace out, bitches!

then came ali and jamaal, 2 brothers working out of a garage. probably the busiest barber shop for miles, these guys turned themselves into local celebrities and did quite well for themselves. ali moved to white rock and opened his own shop soon after, he being my go to guy, i stopped going there. jamaal too, recently opened his own full fledged barber shop on king george hwy.

My barber, vinny was a great guy working out of his car port. one of my friends discovered vinny because he lived down the street. vinny's make shift car port barber shop turned into a social hub for all the boys. my first experience of a barber shop part of a social scene (other than the one my dad went to but that social scene didn't exactly involve me). vinny was great except that he was a first class pot head and he usually insisted on smoking before cutting. he also loved his paan (an indian style chewing tobacco with spices and masala). your barber spitting in a bucket while cutting your hair doesn't exactly encourage your confidence in him. but he was a really nice guy, he'd even give me a ride home if there was no customers waiting. plus he would sing and if in the mood, he would invite you into his house to listen to him rock the tabla and sing old school hindi songs. and he gave me free haircuts in exchange for magazines i would get for free from my then place of employment, newsgroup. vinny was going to school to become a nurse. he did. end of another era.

finally, my current barber, bharat. bharat's not the best barber by any means. the best barber without a doubt is elmer, a vietnamese, soft spoken man. problem with elmer is he lives far (also working out of his garage), you have to make an appointment and he takes a full half hour but you come out looking like a million bucks. i'll go to him for my wedding or something special. right now it's all about convenience for me. bharat's basement barber shop is a 2 minute walk away. he's quick, he sings just as vinny did and it's also a neighborhood social hub but with the younger guys, a lot of my brother's friends go there.

for now, i'm satisfied with bharat. i'll save elmer for a hot date. this is my story and these are my barbers.